Today's Top Lawyer

Lose a lawsuit, lose your shirt

Today’s top lawyers dig up dirt

Though they charge a high percent

And come across as arrogant

You might need, a good defense

If it’s not your first offense

“Delictum!”  (an injury, an offense, or a tort)

What they say in their legalese 

Might as well, be Japanese

Catch the meaning, catch the terms

Double billing, from the firms

The world is, the world is, 

very quick to sue

Who cares if it’s jus-ti-fied 

Today's top lawyer, works the whole night through

And his hourly rates all get paid by you

[synth, guitar & drum solos]

And in his closing argument

He doesn’t care if truth gets bent

If the jury shows discontent

He knows verdicts aren’t permanent

“De novo!”  (an appeal of a lower court’s rendered judgement)

And what he’ll do after your final plea

Is whatever it takes, to get you off scot-free

Call the witness, watch their face

Call for justice, win the case

The world is, the world is

glad your trial is through

Even if your coun-sel lied

Exit the courtroom

Today's top lawyer

He gets rich off you

And the money that you paid

He gets right on to

The next case of the day